I never really understood the words 'joyful obedience'. To me obedience was linked with feelings of pressure and 'having to'. Actually, when I heard the word obedience, I often felt feelings of fear - fear that I would miss out, fear that I could fail, fear of punishment when I would do it wrongly. However, because the Bible says something different about obedience, I started to pray that God would somehow do a work inside of my heart that would enable me to grasp the meaning of this.
Then a certain person came into my life. This person was not necessarily loud, but yet he was confident. He was not forcing anything to anyone including himself, yet he reigned in life. He was never condemning nor judging, yet he spoke truth and dared to confront me. He was kind, humble and served when no one was watching. Even though he didn't knew Jesus personally at that time, I almost felt like I met with Jesus when I would meet with him.
And slowly but surely respect grew in my heart. I noticed how I wanted to make him happy. I noticed how I started to delight in doing small things for him. I noticed how I desired to change.
One time I found out that he didn't like dirty sinks. Well, in my family every one leaves everything in there, so I did that as well. But because I respected him, I started to clean the sink. Even if he would be gone for the whole day and he would not see my sink, I still did it. Also when I was at my working place, I cleansed better after myself, while I had him in mind. And it produced such a joy in my heart.
He would never know that I would do these things for him if I would not tell it to him. I didn't do them, because I wanted to be seen by him. I also didn't do them, because I wanted to impress him. I also didn't do them, because I wanted to prove myself. No, I felt like I simply did them, because I respected him and loved him. As I did it, I felt love rising up from the inside. And there was so much joy attached in doing these small things for him, even though he was not there. It did not change him, but it did change my heart towards him.
And somehow it helped me to get a deeper understanding of the words 'joyful obedience'. I don't have to force myself into loving Jesus. I don't have to feel pressure in obeying God. I don't have to feel fear of missing out. As I meditate on who He is, my heart starts to be filled with gratitude and I start to desire to do the things His way. Not to impress Him, not to prove myself, not to be seen by Him, but simply because I respect Him. And love Him. And I want Him to feel loved by me.
Life becomes so much easier without forcing my way into love. I pray that instead of forcing my way into love, love will become my only force. And I trust that love itself will lead me more and more into joyful obedience.
"There is no greater love than to lay down one’s life for one’s friends." John 15:14
"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails." 1 Corinthians 13:4-8a